imagine minds meshed,
bodies distant,
walking side by side
down deserted paths
a crowd of ghosts and
dreams, memories unlived,
unfelt fireworks.

tender feelings in reciprocation,
nightmares unrequited as evenings
pass on and midnight
claims our sight.
grasp, forbidden,
hair, yearned to touch.
the fire is
too far away.

he thinks, if he throws up his flag,
his hand and arms, white and fearful,
that he will make a difference,
change will come across the land:
it will have been his arm
which lead the stand.

ignorance protects us in our dying
as blindness protects us in birth
let us be calm and in breathing strong,
forget that we have so little left to do.

ode to twenty-one

oh fear, oh righteous one and twenty
that keeps my spirits full and plenty;
to you i doth prescribe these words
as a remedy to unseemly turds.

who, but a villian, thief and fool,
would upon you shit? a tool,
no less, no more would be he,
to take you away from me.

oh, i am too drunk for woe
come, that we will merrily go,
flow into the sea, run into the sky
high into the mountains below...

who's go the cat? for the cat
has me; into its fat i am destined to be,
one with its lard and two with its soul;
and you cant take that away from me.

meander with this story now
as we come and bring it around,
towards horse and hither, bent and hay,
little johnny had a slither of cay.

what is this nonsense that he doth write?
is it intelligible, is it for smite?
why is he writing, what is his cause?
one more question, i'll punch you without pause.

oh dear, he's drunk and randy, see,
he likes to get aggrivated at me.
well who doesn't think your a bloody nitwit,
out to get hit with a banana split.

tease these three words inside your mind,
let them role over and be one of a kind:
do you know what happens when a drunk man lusts,
all over your daughter, his penis dost thrust.

the cat, by the way, is short in many ways:
toxic and cated, intricate days
are these which threaten to moan and please
just like your daughter down on her knees.

To: Forget

Summer evening, silver in the trees
Green leaves, not yet autumn, turn to gold;
Rays streak between branches, dust
Glitters between my heart and yours.

My dear, tear yourself away from it all,
Come and lay with me, visit silence, easy
Freedom and rebirth; look out upon the sea:
Waves crashed before you, before me.

Let go, let me carry you aboard,
Forget your clean clothes, forget, fall
Asleep in my arms, as I stand in your
Shadow, baby, love me like I love you.

The Life and Death of Richard L. Hadowinsky

And as we plummet to the earth,
I will not be the first, by any means
To laugh with mirth
At the screaming cries of children trapped
In tiny lives, as they spiral
Along with me towards our unalterable
Destiny. For, you see, I find this funny
That they, not I, are given prayers;
Yet they, not I, know the sorrows of this world
Not at all, in any fashion.

Many before have come and gone,
Many again will travel this path
Of life to death without a plan,
And to them I must turn my soul
And mock and cry and scream in anger;
They are not the people whom I wish upon this earth,
Nay, it is only they who are bound by birth
To witness that which witnessed I once,
The loss of life and loss of such
Ambitions, as prove men of their worth.

And worthy are they for what?
To reap and sow the souls of others,
To feast upon the sorrows of the damned?
These questions plague me,
They are a pain unvanquished in my heart,
Which twists and turns and jumps in fear
At every rock overturned in haste,
And every child born to waste.
And so I must laugh and smile, grin
Perhaps and giggle, as they, and them
See this as a tragedy of children and not of men.

On The Wine of Human Suffering

Born ye to a world of foes
Unvanquishable by pain and woe;
They thrive on such emotions as we have,
And hate, and hate only what they lack.

Yes, they lack and find in themselves
Nothing but an empty void, a nothing that
In itself is but a fist snapped against a rock,
It is to them a loosing battle, life.

Lose of innocence occurs at birth,
Perhaps before; as we in our cushioned homes
Grin with mirth and hope again to have another,
So that we might devirginize his brother.

What, speaketh I, of such disorganized
Life spiraling to meaning, missing the mark
Because of bad aim, laughing and...
I speak this to Richard alone: the rest, depart.

Crying at pain and sorrow, lonely devices
Helping to reach tomorrow, bouncing and dying thus:
Speaketh I of work and such, know thou not
That life is futile, the end is near, and you are servile?

"Can I get some OJ?", the biggest question of the day;
Perhaps because the boss is watching, perhaps because
The girl is cute, alone and only working in her way,
My God man, we're going down!

Cries the Captain, God and Buddha,
The last they see is earth, crashing towards
The window of their lives; these men,
From whom inspiration derives.

From whence did such angst derive,
What evil chemical within the mind does perpetuate
This hatred; not irate, but searing anger?
From neutered angels, envious to thrive

On the wine of human suffering?

sweet,
times they were
when i was selfish, ashen,
hated loved, swimming in the ocean,
turtles, lost besides me.

and what did I do
to find myself, to find
silence and solace?
i met the bottle,
cheers and tears together
mingled flowing into my glass
as i became one with
blackness.

that blackness shall step out

and introduce itself,
shaking hands all around.
and inside i will weep
for him, that man
who i once saw
as myself.

remember the hills?
remember, along with the swimming pool,
there were the pills;
the children, cheering gleefully,
self-conscious men and women,
photographs and pot-bellies
and strong liqueres.

she recovered roundly,
pinned up her smile along with her hair,
(i remember when we danced
in the sea, and she came home
with chopsticks)
write me poetry,
she said.

here is your poem:

"when you gonna make up your mind?"
she asks, through him,
her blonde hair swept back
in such a way that when i see her
my soul cracks,
my heart bleeds,
and i offer her anything.

"you're so selfish",
tonight she proclaims, probing
her finger in my chest,
watching my heart burst,

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!
hahaha... duhmabs? are you there?

come float with me
in my world of empty promise
i beg that you forgive me for
my transgresions in your mind

if you would only understand
that all I have i give to you